More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize