Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
