So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
