you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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