So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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