Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The adults are the big ones right?
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