Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
