Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
