So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize