The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
