apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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