It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
