Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
