I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize