now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How does one acquire holy water?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
