Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
