Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
