I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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