"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
