it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
