i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
