i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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