It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
