HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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