Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
