also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
