the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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