Got a toothbrush?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
