But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
