I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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