I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
