When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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