It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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