If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
