So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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