Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize