i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
