you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize