I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
