So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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