I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry my hands just texted you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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