i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
