You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
