But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
barbara walters just said penis...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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