Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
