She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
