Sponge bath it is.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
