he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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