I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
