I accidentally burped into my bong.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
