pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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