I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize