well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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