actually, I'm a sock model
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
