He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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