So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
