I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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