Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
