okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
