You smell like stripper and shame
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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