Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
